Aid! I am a godfather from a distance. I felt the same panic when I was recently asked to sponsor the first child of two of my dearest friends. Since I was entrusted with the spiritual nourishment of the precious package of him. He had to see how he was up to it. My biggest flaw was that I lived too far away.
The family resides in the Caribbean and I am in Central America. True, not far. However, I am not in the same country and it will still be a long distance affair. As in any relationship, distance can have a negative impact.
Ever since I was asked, I’ve been thinking a lot about my role. In addition, I am used to wearing the other shoe, giving advice to parents on this topic. Therefore, I decided to revisit and listen to my own advice. I think it’s wise to take my own advice before all my older and newer godchildren decide to ditch me.
Being a godmother or godfather is much more serious than many people think. I might be stating the obvious for some of you. However, the fact is that too many people (including some parents) tend to view this responsibility as a position of status and prestige, not realizing that a great deal of responsibility has been placed in their hands. So I made a list and I share it with you.
6 Helpful Tips for Long Distance God Parenting
Attend the First Ceremony – No matter how far away you live. You must be present at this first Baptism or Dedication ceremony. Some churches make it mandatory. My sister and colleague is Moravian and my presence is mandatory. I guess I won’t miss this ceremony!
Make a picture of one or several children of God: I have 6! I heard about this excellent idea and thought it was very practical. Keep your graphic in a prominent place. It can be a small one in your journal or a large one hanging on a wall in your bedroom or office. Use this chart to prompt your prayers for your godchild as well.
List their names, birthdays, baptism or dedication date, other rites of passage such as the first day of school, etc. In this regard, you will need the help of parents to send you informational updates and photos.
Pray Regularly: Keep your godchild(ren) on your prayer list and pray for them. Your role as a sponsor is to offer spiritual nourishment. It is not to buy expensive gifts unlike what popular culture makes you think.
Maintain contact and communication: Even before the child can speak, ask the parents to put the child on the phone so that they can accuse them of hearing their voice. Trust me, your godson will recognize you by your voice the first time he meets you physically. Write and send cards on Baptism/Dedication anniversary, birthdays, graduations and just to say, I’m thinking of you.
Children today seem to be born knowing how to use a computer. They are more advanced than us. If you’re reading this online, then maybe it’s not too old. Stay in touch over the Internet by using email and instant messaging. This can become a useful means of contact, and your godchild knows they have someone to talk to other than their parents.
Spend time together: When possible, spend time with your godchild’s family or invite the child to visit. This could include summer vacation or other school breaks and the use of your vacation time.
Offer spiritual care and gifts: Too often, parents seek godparents not for the spiritual care they can provide, but for their ability to purchase expensive gifts for their children. Those parents have missed the point of this religious role. When properly understood, the god-parents should appreciate their role primarily as support in the spiritual education and upbringing of children.
Even if you are far away, you can still give meaningful gifts that will help affirm your godchild’s spiritual care and education. So it makes sense that the gifts from him are mostly religious in nature. This is not an easy choice when competing with violent video games, dolls that scream commercialized versions of beauty, and other useless and psychologically damaging toys.
So, I hear the question that all sponsors must be asking by now. Where the hell do I get these ‘spiritual nurturing gifts’ that aren’t boring? Listen, that’s a whole new story. I’m still looking, so keep an eye out for my suggestions.
Happy sponsor with renewed commitment!