My husband is a keen businessman with the unique ability to create something out of nothing, envision the future, work efficiently and strategically, and get to the bottom line quickly. In his books and seminars, he teaches high-level executives useful business strategies so they can successfully grow their businesses. His clients rave about the results they achieve when they implement his lessons.
Eager to have the same successful parenting results that my husband’s clients have with their businesses, I’ve incorporated four of his business practices into my parenting technique.
think strategically
When you think strategically, you forge a careful plan of action to carry out and achieve a goal. Strategic thinking is a useful tool for today’s busy parents who are pushed in many different directions and pressed for time. Set a goal and motto a smart plan to achieve the goal. Strategic thinking can be used in conjunction with meal planning, grocery shopping, leaving the house in the morning, etc.
For example, putting kids to bed at the same time every night is a great goal that can often go wrong in many homes. Creating a step-by-step plan, in this case a bedtime ritual, is an excellent way to achieve the goal of going to bed at the same time. As children become more familiar with the bedtime ritual, their internal clocks reset and falling asleep becomes easier.
Strategic thinking makes parenting easier because the whole family knows and sticks to a good plan and, with a minimum of stress, achieves its goals.
Time management
Good time management raises two questions: Does the activity have value? If the activity is of value, what is the best way to do it efficiently? Parents who find the day overwhelming should ask themselves if most of their time is spent efficiently performing important activities.
There are four questions to ask when determining the efficiency of your activities: Should the activity be done? Is it necessary to do the activity now? Can anyone else do it? Does the activity have to be done perfectly or is it good enough, good enough?
A simple example is setting the table for dinner. The answer for most families is, “Yes, this is an important activity.” Does mom or dad have to move away from the stove to set the table now? “No, a child would be proud to do it now.” Does it have to be approved by the Queen of England? “No, good enough will suffice and I’m proud that my son completed the table, I don’t feel guilty that he’s not perfect.”
Create possibility and move things forward
Creating possibilities opens the future to bright and wonderful situations and creates opportunities. Moving things forward happens when the person acts on the possibility created.
Parents should start from the possibility of loving their children when there is an opportunity to express it. For example, when a parent is faced with a challenging disciplinary situation, he may yell and lose his temper or may have ideas or possibilities to express his love for her while he continues to control the children’s behavior.
“Maybe my kids are out of control because we’ve been in the car all morning, if I take them to the shore and let them run on the beach for an hour I bet we’d all calm down.” Moving things forward is just dad driving to the beach and having a great time living with the kids for an hour.
Another way to think about this is Stephen Covey’s concept of choice. As he says in The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People:
“BETWEEN STIMULUS AND RESPONSE IS OUR FREEDOM TO CHOOSE. We have self-awareness, imagination, consciousness, and independent will. Responsibility is the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions or conditioning. for his behavior. His behavior is a product of his own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of his conditions, based on feelings.”
manage risk
With every activity in life there is the possibility of something going wrong. Putting a baby in the tub and feeding young children whole grapes are high-risk parenting activities. Moving the baby from the crib to a bed with a rail is medium risk and coloring on the counter with washable markers is low risk but just as risky.
Thinking ahead will help parents manage risk and minimize the chance that something will go wrong. Parents should get in the habit of asking themselves, “If I let my kids do this, what is the most likely outcome?”
Parents need to measure the probability of something happening (good or bad) multiplied by the negative impact if it does happen. So they should ask themselves: “What is the cost of eliminating the risk?”
For example: Electrical outlets are dangerous if a child sticks a fork in one, so parents are willing to go to the baby store and buy plug covers. A child may be able to remove the cover from an outlet, but is it worth that small risk for the parent to hire an electrician to come and move all the outlets up to the ceiling?
Parents who overestimate the probability of something happening worry and haunt compulsively. People who underestimate the risk do not provide a safe environment for children. Good parents can correctly estimate the risk to protect their children when the risk is too high and loosen the reins when the risk is low.
Applying these business management practices to the everyday challenges of parenting will help give parents the tools to parent more efficiently and with less stress. Careful and creative parenting will model effective adult behavior for children and create a calm and peaceful home.