You may feel uneasy about your future. What fate holds. And what will happen to you after you die if it turns out that you have a somewhat selfish character?
On the other hand, people might think that being selfish is a good thing. They ask, what’s wrong with loving myself? After all, don’t we have to take care of number one to survive and succeed? Yes, I would say that it is good to make our own way and not be a burden on society. Not taking care of ourselves serves no one. So if caring about yourself is good, what does a selfish life really mean?
According to Richard Whately (English philosopher and theologian) “A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting that of his neighbor.“
I would suggest that people who are really selfish are willing to exploit others for their own pleasures. In their dealings they are selfish, even if it means being thoughtless, dishonest, and stingy. Extreme selfishness tends to lead to being sarcastic, hateful, and even malicious when one’s wishes are thwarted.
We might wonder about the fate after death of those who constantly act selfishly. If we are really going to reap what we sow, what are the negative effects of this type of karma?
Can some of us avoid having a selfish character?
We behave in a certain way for a mixture of reasons. Chance and choice enter the scene. So, you may ask, how can we be responsible for whatever way we live our lives? Don’t we have all kinds of desires and intentions? In fact, it is a common opinion today that we are all born with a mix of positive and negative tendencies. Having natural streaks of kindness and selfishness, generosity and greed, virtues as well as vices.
Also, it is generally thought that there are many external elements outside of our control that affect us. Social scientists can show the connection between poor mental health and traumatic experience. Also between crime and poverty. Needing social acceptance from our adolescent peers, we may conform to their social norms, which may be delinquent in the eyes of others.
Are external factors the only ones responsible for how we live our lives?
That’s how I see it. Each of us started out in the world as children influenced by, yes, all sorts of things. Genetic makeup, family upbringing, community standards, and any difficulties affect our behavior. So it is true that we have particular inherited tendencies and individual life experiences that affect us. As science has shown, ‘nature and education’ both play important roles in human development.
But in addition, there is a spiritual perspective. As we grow up, I would say that each of us becomes our own person. No matter what circumstances we start out in, we develop as individuals with our own concerns and priorities. We gradually choose our own values and aspirations.
I’m trying to argue that who we each become depends on our response to the world around us. How we react to challenging experiences. Do we face setbacks badly or well? Dwell on failure or get on with things? Give in or resist the attractions of life that can lead to illusion and suffering? I would say it comes down to us making our own decisions.
Are we responsible for our individual character?
Similarly, the criminal justice system assumes that we are accountable in court for obeying or disobeying the law. We are responsible for our conduct because we choose to follow or go against social rules.
This vision is also in line with existential philosophy. The cornerstone of this tradition is the recognition of the reality of inner freedom. It may not always be possible to do what we want, such as when we are in a bind, under tyrannical pressure, or physically handicapped, but nevertheless, we are free to think and have the intentions we want.
We may not be free of social restrictions on what we do and say outwardly. But, don’t we exercise an inner freedom to think and try what we want? And do this constantly day by day, hour by hour, and minute by minute? If so, over time, a pattern will slowly emerge in the way one is reacting to circumstances. An underlying attitude towards life is growing. And this forms our individual character. I would say that it can be selfish or not, but that is our choice. We end up being who we are and getting what we want, according to what we want most.
Razor’s edge
The way in which we end up getting what we have internally desired is illustrated in W. Somerset Maugham’s 1944 novel. ‘Razor’s edge’.
Hailed as a masterpiece, it tells the story of Larry Darrell, an American pilot traumatized by his experiences in World War I. His rejection of conventional life and the search for some transcendent and significant experience allows him to prosper internally.
His fiancée Isabel Bradley cannot accept his outlook on life and breaks off their engagement to return to Chicago. There she marries a millionaire who provides her with a rich family life. However, she is still in love with Larry. Her fate is that she will never get Larry, who has decided to live as a common worker. He is not interested in the rich and glamorous world in which Isabel will move. Other characters in the book ended up getting what they wanted, too, albeit in some cases tragically.
It is said ‘We are what we eat’. Our bodies become healthy or unhealthy based on the foods and drinks we choose to consume on a regular basis. Similarly, do our minds become spiritually healthy or unhealthy based on the intentions and fantasies we often harbor? The habits of thought that we form?
According to Swedenborg, throughout life on earth, one gradually creates one’s own inner character. Each one behaves as he wants. In doing so, the delight of his own life and ‘ruling love’ it is formed gradually. For example, on the one hand, I may be concerned with gaining social status, or on the other hand, more focused on playing useful roles. As a business person, my emphasis may be more on making money or, on the other hand, more concerned with fair dealings with suppliers or employees.
As a regular pattern develops in my life, I take into account what I primarily aspire to. I get attached to things, fears, hopes, values, etc., and make them my own along with the thoughts that justify them.
Isn’t the idea of selfishness just polarized thinking?
You may be wondering, if we choose our attitudes, who decides if they are selfish? Selfish behavior cannot be due to naivety. In response, I would say that yes, self-centered action can arise because we don’t fully appreciate the consequences of what we are doing. How it hurts someone else. Perhaps our friends improperly influenced us to commit, for example, mischievous behavior or petty crimes. This may not become an established pattern if we respond well when light is shed on the matter. If we accept the errors of our ways and the negative effects on others.
In other words, you could view the concept of selfishness as polarizing thinking. But I don’t think this is a good reason not to use the word. Because it would suggest that there are degrees of selfishness.
The way one behaves selfishly depends on how far one goes with what he wants. Take selfishness just a little, then this could result in, let’s say, envy for those who have what we want. Apply it more, then this feeling could turn into disgust. Extend it further and we might feel anger or even hate for those who have what we want for us. And by committing ourselves to it even more completely, we may want to cause harm to others to suit our own desires.
I would say that a more serious type of selfishness stems from the strong desires of those of us who, when we stop to think, realize that our greed is harming others. But we forget and we get caught up in the feelings of the moment and we don’t stop to reflect.
serious selfishness
According to this framework of thought, the most serious of all is selfishness that leads to sadistic violence or murder planned and therefore intentionally carried out by those of us who convince ourselves that we are doing nothing wrong. I guess this more serious level is less common. It’s unusual for even the average cop to come across someone twisted to the core.
Is talking about selfishness just being moralistic?
You may be wondering if the idea of selfishness is simply self-righteous. It is true that talking about a ‘ruling love’ of selfishness is to take a moral stance. But I would like to say that the question of selfishness and generosity is central to social norms. This issue appears to be at the center of various societal concerns, such as the ethics of environmental policy in relation to pollution, business ethics in relation to financial fraud, and the ethics of personal conduct that could address sexual disloyalty and betrayal. . Do you have to be a moralist to think this way?
The teaching of Confucianism, a Chinese tradition, is that the evil of selfishness arises because people do not allow their feelings and actions to remain in harmony with their own humanity, for example, they do not treat others with respect and a feeling of solidarity. that corresponds to them We have a similar idea in Yoga. One of its eight fundamental principles is to avoid selfish actions. In fact, each of the major religions has a list of ethical guidelines that it encourages us to follow.
When I allow myself to immerse myself in the selfish consumer society. I move away from the deeper spiritual life with its concern for nature, people in need, etc. By enduring malice and looking down on others, I separate myself from the spirit of compassion. By foolishly acting superficially, I stray from the spirit of wisdom. In other words, by going deeper into egoism, I create my own negative karma. Or in common language we say that a person ‘creates his own hell’.
of Buddhism ‘eightfold noble paths’ include ‘correct speech’, ‘good action’ and ‘right livelihood’. In other words, correct moral conduct. In Buddhist cosmology we find the term ‘naraka’ generally referred to in English as “hell”. But the Buddhist version differs from the old Christian one in that no individuals are sent there. No judgment is incurred when one arrives at the ‘pearl gates’. There is no divine reward or punishment. Instead, karma implies self-determination.
How would you summarize selfishness?
Chadwick Boseman, American actor (who played baseball player Jackie Robinson) put it this way.
“The only difference between a hero and a villain is that the villain chooses to use that power in a selfish way and hurt other people.”
So, in all this, what counts is not the external action but the internal motivation.
Choosing to face one way or another each and every day is a lifelong process and can be a lifelong struggle. Are we not responsible for the values and behaviors that we choose to make our own?