There is no question that no matter what the circumstances, an affair is devastating. But, it’s even worse when the husband can’t seem to part with the other woman or leave her alone. Very often, women contact me and ask “how can I make my husband leave his girlfriend?” or “how can I get him away from her when he can’t seem to leave her alone?” Often wives who want to entice their cheating husbands resort to manipulation tactics meant to make their husbands feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous, but this often just reads as desperation and paints you in a more negative light. Men often don’t have the moral radar or sense of responsibility that women do, so tactics that would work for you or me may not work at all on your husband. In this article, I will tell you what I think is the best way to get your husband to leave other women while maintaining your self-esteem.
Understand that you probably can’t reason with your cheating spouse:Many women ask me for advice aimed at “making my husband understand what the affair is doing to me” or “making him see how much the affair hurts me.” What they don’t understand is that men aren’t rational thinkers, especially when they’re in the middle of an affair. Even though he’s hard to hear, it’s highly unlikely that her husband will hear what he’s saying and respond, “You know, you’re right. Let me stop this now.” It’s not fair, but it is.
You probably can’t change your husband’s thought process right now. And, you need to understand that you will most likely have the adventure to replace something that is missing within it. Notice I said it himself. Please understand that the fault is within him, not within you. Men cheat because they want to feel desirable, young, alive, competent, and vibrant. And overwhelmingly, this is an emotional rather than a physical need, despite common perception.
Know that the other woman can’t keep up the facade forever: If you don’t take anything else from this article, please take this. The attractiveness of the other woman often lies in how she makes her husband feel about himself. It’s not about how she looks or how old she is. It all lies in how she presents the whole low-maintenance package. She often does this by taking a light-hearted, no-strings-attached approach. She doesn’t make demands. Everything is fine with her. She is completely laid back and doesn’t require much. But you and I both know that no woman can go on like this forever. She’s like any woman who does her best for the first date, but soon after he sees her in knee socks and an old T-shirt and wonders why in the world she risked everything for this. She will begin to want to know where he is or to demand more of him, and suddenly what was so attractive in this relationship is gone in an instant. A recent survey indicated that almost 90% of men are incredibly sorry about her affair, so understand that the chances of her husband coming to regret this woman are overwhelming.
The key for you is to know this and bide your time with dignity and respect. Because if you act in a way that’s beneath you or unattractive, then they’ll both look at you like the poor wife who got the bum treatment. And unfortunately, this is not an attractive image and you are at a distinct disadvantage when this happens.
Turning the tables: As difficult as it may seem at first, you have to take care of yourself outside of this whole thing. If her husband is acting like a complete jerk, that’s really her problem, not yours. Put it on the back burner until she realizes her ridiculous mistake and comes crawling back. Focus on yourself. Go to your friends. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. Get yourself a new wardrobe or hairstyle. Don’t expect him and make sure he knows. But, don’t add another evil to the situation and fool yourself. This will only make things worse and make you more confused.
What you are really trying to achieve is a scenario that plays out just as your husband comes to his senses. And when she looks your way, he sees a confident, classy, self-respecting, attractive woman who’s honestly too good for him right now. Whether she decides to accept him or not is entirely up to her. But she’s not going to put herself down by chasing him or rewarding her unfortunate behavior. Instead, she will allow him to catch her, if she so chooses.