When you are faced with the prospect of divorce, it is important that you see that you are not a powerless victim. You don’t have to worry about your future. You can simply create your future by choosing the collaborative divorce process where you bring together a powerful team of experts so that you are in control of the outcome.
Collaborative divorce is similar to mediation, but is generally more effective because both parties have their own attorney to advise them, and there is a team environment where additional professionals are added as needed. The result is that you end up getting “the best value for your money” because you’re paying only for those professionals who can help you the most. For example, you don’t want to pay your lawyer to come up with a parenting plan for you and your spouse. It would be much better to pay for a co-parenting coach as part of your collaborative divorce team who would likely take less time and be much more effective. Believe it or not, the collaborative divorce process will most likely cost less money than hiring a trial lawyer who is happy with his own agenda (for example, making and making a lot of money).
Also, during the collaborative divorce process, you will most likely learn to manage your emotions and communicate effectively. This is crucial for a successful outcome. It all starts with identifying your values, goals, and interests. To start, think about what your passions are. In other words, describe to yourself what your life would be like if it were ideal. This process is explained in detail in the best-selling book, The Passion Test by Janet Attwood and Chris Attwood, which says that your passions will lead you to your highest values. The book explains that to identify your passions, ask yourself what specifically you would be doing and who you would be with. The key is to map out and write down your ideal life in as specific and detailed a way as possible.
Then, through the collaborative divorce process, you can begin to identify your values. For example, do you value family, integrity, keeping your commitments, respect for yourself and others, compassion, making a difference, excellence, honesty? Be specific when defining your values. For example, if you value family, it may be more accurate to say that you value being emotionally connected to your children.
The collaborative divorce process will also help you identify your specific goals for the future and your immediate interests. For example, do you want your children to be able to attend a specific school or participate in particular extracurricular activities? Do you want to be debt free? Do you want to be able to get education or training to explore career opportunities?
Finally, you can identify the actions you need to take to achieve your goals. Your collaborative divorce team will help you put together a list of powerful actions you can start taking right away to help you achieve your goals. He doesn’t need to be a victim when facing a divorce. Instead, when you choose the collaborative divorce process, you can create your ideal future!