You’ll hear a lot about no contact after a breakup if you’ve done your research online. The truth is, no contact can be a great way to save your relationship from further chaos and ultimately get your guy back if you want to.
Going to NC, or non-contact, usually consists of a few variations.
1. You just turn off your phone and email when it comes to your ex, and refuse to talk to or respond to them.
2. You limit contact with them to something like “hello” and “how are you” but don’t go beyond that and don’t talk about your relationship at all.
Usually number 2 is better as it leaves the door open for future contact with your ex. However, it can lead to problems if you don’t avoid breaking up as a topic of conversation with him.
However, no contact can also be very beneficial for both you and your ex. It won’t drive you away. Instead, if there really is hope for your relationship, it will make you think about your decision.
Don’t allow yourself to worry about whether or not your ex will forget you, he won’t. In fact, you should AVOID that kind of thinking at all costs. Actually, your ex will never get over you if he really cares about you. If he doesn’t, you should move on anyway.
No contact really allows you to move on and heal, and that’s what you should do if you’re trying to get your ex back.
When you have this period of not talking to your ex for a while, you have an opportunity to let go of emotional wounds. The reason for depression after a breakup is that you keep thinking about your ex for a while; just force yourself not to.
However, it’s harder to force yourself not to think about something than it is to distract yourself, so look for ways to do this in the first few weeks. Try your favorite games and hobbies, the things you enjoy the most. In the next two weeks, you should be looking for more in-depth activities, things that really force you to focus.
Now is your chance to finish that project you’ve been neglecting at work. It’s a chance to catch up on your studying or reading, anything you’ve been putting off that you really want to fix now.
Not having contact for a while, usually around 30 days, will allow you to get your life back on track. Then, at that point, you can examine your current state and whether you really still want to get it back.
If you do, you’ll be in a better frame of mind because you’ll be thinking rationally instead of emotionally. Instead of being thrown into despair and chaos over the breakup, you’ll see things in a new light.
It will make it much easier to make the decisions you need to make: whether you really want it back, and then how you’re going to go about getting it back when you’re ready to.