Then you have his number. And you have a beautiful memory of your first meeting. Lots of smiles, seductive looks, and a great connection. She seemed genuinely interested in you, and you absolutely loved her.
And now is the time to continue that connection and seduction with texting, get it right, and schedule the first date. This is where most guys have trouble and often screw it up. Where she just doesn’t respond or begins to postpone their meeting. Somehow, due to bad texting, the spark just went away;
“But why ?!” These guys wonder in vain. “We got along so well! What happened?”
What happens is that after that first interaction, his emotions were high and he remembered you very well. But as time went by, he went on with his life and did a lot of things and if your first text message is not equally strong, he will not be able to find and re-feel those first emotions he felt with you, and if that happens, he won. I don’t feel the need to meet you again.
But don’t fear my friend! There are a few simple and key rules to follow with texting that will bring back her emotions and attraction to you, and guarantee you’ll meet for a date. Before we get into this, here is an essential thing to remember with texts;
The complicated of the texts
With texts you have to choose your words very carefully, because that’s all you have: Words. 7% of communication is words, 38% is the tone of your voice, and 55% is your body language. So, in person or even on the phone, you are much more powerful in your communication.
Never think that texting can be compared to that personal interaction – the point of texting is to remind you of the fun energy and attraction you had, and then work towards it on that date. All the time creating that air of joy, joke and no need.
Never try to establish a relationship by text message or engage in a deeper conversation. Without your eyes, voice, and body behind him, he won’t create attraction.
But what you can do with texting is tease her, get her a little excited, and schedule that first date. Without further ado, here are the 3 stages of effective texting;
Stage 1: The first text
Your first text is very important. Make it loud, playful, and aim to remind her of the attraction and emotions she felt in that first interaction.
Send it an hour or two after meeting you. Just when he starts to forget about your meeting. Boom, you text and all those feelings come back.
Don’t ask for a date here, we’re just making a connection and being a little sassy, playful, and fun.
It is best to bring a joke that you both shared, perhaps in your nickname or elsewhere in the text. If you were joking about how she is dressed in one color, say; “Hey, lady in yellow, …” if you are crazy about French movies, say; “Hey Amelie, …”
And then just a short, arrogant, fun message to say hello. That’s it. Here’s a great example from Tom Torero; “Hi Bather Sophie, random but great to meet you. Are you always this friendly with new people or was it blue sky? Tom”
And here’s a more cocky and funniest one from Gareth Jones (my personal favorite); “Hey, I’m Gareth. Save this number, it’s the most important you will get” (with a wink at the end).
If she responds, great. Have a little conversation, 2/3 text messages, no more. So say I have to go, talk soon. There’s no need to go overboard here, just keep the pressures low, casual, and friendly. She will be delighted with the humorous, confident but laid-back attitude.
If she doesn’t respond, you can text her a fun reminder 1 or 2 days later; “That’s it, we’re getting a divorce. Call your lawyer, you can have the cat.” Or something like that. “Hmmm, my mother warned me about girls like you …” Or you can just send her the ping text message in stage two;
Stage 2: Ping texts
A general rule of thumb is that it’s good to keep in touch every other day or every 3 days. To keep on your mind. So two days after the initial meeting and text message, send him a funny text message like this;
“Hey, I walked past the Starbucks and I thought about you. Are you enjoying the sun today?” “I just saw a cat that looks like you.” “In a park with a coffee and a good book.” “I just saw something that reminded me of you … wow” “Quick question; red or white wine?”
These are called ping texts and they are beautiful.
Usually you are not asking them a question and you are not asking them to go to the date you talked about. But you’re sending him an engaging, no-pressure text message that he’ll reply to.
When she responds, you can have a bit of a joke, then;
Step 3: Set the date
A great way to set up a date is to think about what you like, right from the first interaction. It is always a good idea to find out these things. So if she loves art, you’ll want to meet up at or near an art gallery. If she likes sushi, think of a great sushi place, if she is an actress, think of something related to acting, etc.
Then when I suggest it, say it like this; “They’re showing a fantastic exhibit at the Tate Modern by the river, sound good to you?” or “I know of an amazing sushi place in Soho. It has the freshest fish, a Michelin star chef from Tokyo, and a cool and quirky atmosphere. Sound good to you?”
When she replies that it sounds good, to arrange a date and time, ask her when she will be free next week. Or just say; “Great, which is better for you, Wednesday or Friday afternoon?” Giving the option is better. Don’t ask yes / no questions. I have to give all the credit to Gareth Jones for this style of dating, which has worked wonders for me and for you too.
Here you can see that because she is choosing something that she loves and would love to see, she is inclined to say yes. You are showing that you were paying attention and that you already understand it quite well. You are also offering him the date in a way that doesn’t give him a chance to think and resist; everything is so smooth and tempting, as the whole process of seduction should be. And there are your three awesome texting stages!