Finding Calm.
“Meditate Schmeditate,” my mother-in-law, Dora, once said to her son, my husband, Mark, when he was driving to Long Beach one summer day to find a quiet bench on the boardwalk to attend his meditation practice two times a day. From that day on, every time Mark sat down to meditate he said to me, “I’m going to go meditate-meditate” and we both laughed at it.
Twenty minutes a day, twice a day for more than thirty years. Rarely did Mark miss taking time to do his meditation practice. As an educator in New York City Public Schools, he would wake up 45 minutes early to meditate, then shower, shave, get dressed, make his coffee and peanut butter sandwich (to get the energy he needed in his stressful life -very hectic-). he worked as a school principal) and then pack an apple, some clementines, and some almonds. He would then get in his car to drive to East New York, Brooklyn. In my eyes, Mark was a true enlightened warrior.
Mark trained in TM in Manhattan in the early 1970s. Once, when I asked him what meditation was to him, he said something like this: “It helps me focus. Meditation relaxes my mind. It helps ease my mind.” stress. It helps me find solutions to problems. I get more done.” .”
I often noticed that he seemed happier and more relaxed when he completed his daily meditations. I admire how he stood his ground day after day.
When I asked him if meditating meant that he turned off his thoughts, he said, “No, on the contrary, what it does is that I just notice my thoughts and let them go while I focus on a mantra.” keep your mind from wandering by making lists and thinking about the next day’s hustle and bustle.
Meditation has become a buzzword. In a recent interview on the 92nd Street Y, Ariana Huffington discussed the many brooding CEOs, including most famously, the late Steve Jobs.
Studies using MRIs have shown that the brains of Tibetan Buddhist monks who meditate daily and for long periods of time have shown brains with increased gamma wave activity, which help with many cognitive functions, including increased compassion, memory improved and test-taking skills. In short, gamma brain waves are what get you “in the zone.”
There are also health benefits. Science has shown that meditation can reduce stress, helps reduce cortisol, adrenaline production, and in turn lowers blood pressure.
In a recent article in the New York Times, The way The meditation center in Manhattan focuses on networking for millennials in fashion and technology, through meditation. According to the article, many post-meditation deals have been made and jobs found. In Los Angeles, “Drybar” style meditation centers are springing up.
If you ask me, meeting your true love or business partner through meditation holds more promise than having a cocktail at the latest trendy bar. At least you know the person is in the moment.
Additionally, another article showed that meditation has the potential to help students increase their scores on important tests, such as the SAT and ACT exams.
It seems that Mark really was on to something all those years ago. Meditation served him well throughout his life, working through some very sticky situations in the school system and when he was losing his battle with cancer, meditation helped him stay centered and uncomplaining even when he knew he just wanted to scream.
It was thanks to Mark that I began my thirty year journey into yoga and meditation. As someone with a lot of energy, active and with a need to move, I found that in order to meditate I had to do a little yoga or dance in the living room, walk or just move around sitting in circles to warm up and release the excess. Energy. Then I could sit and enjoy the stillness. I am grateful to Mark for starting me on my yogic path. He used to say, “I have a great instinct. I grew up on the streets of Brooklyn which taught me a lot about people.” And I appreciate that he shared it with me.
Being a people person, my favorite way to meditate is in a group with my fellow yoga practitioners; that’s where the practice really comes in for me.
But being home on my own becomes something else. Doing the practice is committing to grace for a few minutes each day. Even for just 5 minutes to give my busy monkey mind a break. Productivity increases when I give my mind and body a break.
For those who want to put a spin on meditation, there are plenty of places to look. There are many different types of meditations to try on YouTube.com, where you can practice in your living room.
Do your best not to judge yourself. According to American Buddhist teacher and meditation master Jack Kornfeld, it takes many lifetimes to master meditation, so why not just enjoy it? There is no correct way to do it. Just sit back and it will unfold.
The UCLA Mindfulness Awareness Research Center is a good place to get free training and introduction to meditation, marc.ucla.edu and look for the link to Free Guided Meditations. Or search iTunes for both free and paid meditations.
There are also numerous apps available to help you learn.
Although when I think about it, the whole concept is a bit of an oxymoron. Meditation app. Kind of like the old “giant shrimp”. The idea is to lower the noise in your head. If you can do that without checking text messages, putting your phone on do not disturb mode, here are some apps to try, some are free and some charge a fee:
Breathe2Relax helps you practice breathing work,
Buddhify 2 meditations and information from short to long,
Omvana has music, talks, guided meditations, and much more. Look in your app store to see what’s available. Read the reviews. Try a few different types of meditation.
I have had great success being consistent with the yoga nidra meditations I hear on YouTube.com Google: yoga nidra and many variations will appear
Yoganidra has been one of the building blocks in getting me back on my feet after losing my loving husband Mark to cancer. The grievance can be overwhelming. Yoga nidra let me be well.
Of one thing I am sure, meditation is not rare or complicated. It can be as simple as finding a quiet place, closing your eyes, and telling your mind to follow your breath. I tell myself, “inhale, exhale” until I don’t need to say it, I just go with it.
My best suggestion is to find a meditation center or yoga studio where meditation practice is offered.
Some, like Yoga Nanda in Garden City, NY, offer free community meditation each week.
Or just find your quiet spot by simply doing what Mark always did: throw on a comfy hoodie and sit wherever you are.
Follow your breath and give your mind a break.
Watch your thoughts as they pass by and let them go.
Keep following your breath for 5 minutes or more. Make an appointment with your peaceful self.
Go find your quiet spot, I bet you’ll be glad you did.