American actress Gwyneth Paltrow angered many Americans when she spoke about her preference for living in Britain. A Spanish newspaper quoted her as saying that the British are smarter and more interesting than the Americans. She explained that Americans talk about what they do for a living and worry about money. She found British conversation more “civilized”. Did she intend to insult Americans? we never will
to know. What we do know is that good intentions do not always have the desired effect. The true meaning of a communication is the effect.
While she is entitled to her opinion, her choice of words sounded more like a sneer than a preference. Think about what people have said during the acceptance awards: “I’d like to thank all the little people.” Politicians have lost their positions because of the way they expressed their point of view in public. So how can you express an opinion without insulting the audience? Mrs. Paltrow could have expressed her joy of living in England and at the same time mentioned the cultural differences.
For example, “Adapting to British culture, conversations tend to be different. Americans get down to business more quickly with an emphasis on their professions. In England, conversation tends to be more personal and social.”
The above statement is more of an observation than a judgment. When you use the words “more,” “less,” or “civilized,” you begin to pass judgment. When you compare intelligence, you’re also walking on thin ice. Words are powerful. So keep your comments neutral. Express your observations, not judgements.
Public speaking is both WHAT you say and HOW you say it.