I have spent more than twenty-five years researching the differences between people who achieve and maintain success and those who continually strive to improve their circumstances without success. My research led me to five factors that I have discovered are present to some degree in virtually all truly successful people. Conversely, anyone who underperforms or lacks success is missing one or more of the five essentials; sometimes all five. Success does not seem to be possible without the presence of these five factors, no matter how much an individual desires success or how many ways they try to achieve it.
The five essential factors
(1) The first factor is true self-awareness, which is only possible when we are clear about our nature and the effects of conditioning on our self-perception. Few people give much thought to self-awareness because it seems like the most natural thing in the world. After all, we live with ourselves twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. We are aware of all our thoughts and feelings and all our secrets. Who could know us better than ourselves, right? Wrong. A seven-year study conducted by a group of researchers at NaviCore International, Inc., a company focused on the research and development of human potential and performance, found that the majority of the population lacks sufficient self-awareness. Using an analytical tool, the CORE Multidimensional Awareness Profile, to uncover authentic traits and examine the effects of conditioning, NaviCore International found that 84% of the US population is not self-aware enough to accurately report assessments typical. Why? Because conditioning usually begins at birth and continues to impact us in ways we rarely acknowledge. Most of us are so thoroughly conditioned as children to meet the expectations of our family and community that by the time we reach adulthood, all we can see is the conditioned mask we put on as children and still wear.
If we believe that the mask is our true selves and make life decisions based on that false view, we often set ourselves up for a lifelong struggle. Those who function according to the conditioned mask and not according to their true nature are essentially swimming up the river of life, always struggling to keep up with the demands of the world, instead of gently floating down the river in harmony with their life. nature. To the extent that we have been conditioned away from our nature, life is difficult. As long as we are working with nature, rather than against it, life is fulfilling and joyful.
If you’re not happy and content with who you are, not necessarily where you are in life, but who you are, you can bet you don’t have enough self-awareness. I state this with complete confidence because in 25 years of working with people I have never seen a single person who is not happy with his true, natural self.
(2) The second factor is the healthy development of natural traits, which translates into emotional intelligence and overall effectiveness. All the traits available to any normally functioning human being are available to each of us and all have value, but for each of us, some traits energize and motivate us, while others are exhausting and difficult to maintain. The traits we naturally prefer the most are easy to maintain for long periods of time. In fact, they feed our soul and generate tremendous amounts of energy, enthusiasm, motivation, and drive. We build skills and abilities around naturally preferred traits very quickly and tend to be very effective using them. The traits we least prefer are generally striving. They drain us of energy, and most people resist actions that require long-term use of them.
The development of traits to healthy levels and the awareness that allows us to use them in the correct order is what allows passion to arise and a healthy level of Emotional Intelligence to develop. Emotional intelligence or EQ is the ability to control one’s emotions, deal effectively with stressors, and defer gratification for long-term rewards. The term was popularized by Daniel Goleman in his book of the same name. He spearheaded several research projects and amassed a wealth of evidence suggesting that EQ is the number one predictor of effectiveness in life, work, and relationships.
(3) The third factor is healthy personal boundaries. Like EQ, healthy personal boundaries are not possible until we are fully self-aware. In this case, to develop healthy boundaries, we must be able to see our truth and separate it from the volumes of fiction that have been presented to us about ourselves. We must also be clear about what actions and attitudes we are and are not willing to accept from ourselves and from others. To develop healthy personal boundaries, an individual must be able to define and articulate four things, best stated in the first person, present tense; (1) I am, (2) I am NOT, (3) I will accept of myself and others, and (4) I will NOT accept.
(4) Self-confidence is the fourth factor. It convinces us that we are capable of achieving any goal we set for ourselves. Without self-confidence, many goals are not achieved because we are afraid and averse to risk. Confidence is a product of knowledge backed by the right experience and reinforced by positive feedback. As with factors 2 and 3, we must have an accurate sense of ourselves before we can have confidence in ourselves. Without self-awareness, our inner compass works, but we don’t know how to read it, so we remain lost, and it’s very difficult to be confident when we’re lost.
(5) The final factor is self-esteem, which informs us that we are worth whatever effort is required to achieve our goals and realize our dreams. Success usually requires some degree of effort and the only way we will persist is if we believe we are worth the effort it takes to keep moving towards our goals. self esteem; The belief that we are worth the effort is absolutely essential to following through. Without it, we just buy the books, attend the seminars, buy the gym memberships, make the New Year’s resolutions, look for first one trainer and then another, but never deliver. Unless we believe that we are worth the effort, we will not continue to do so.
Self-esteem is not possible until the other four factors are in place. We must know who we are to determine what matters to us and we must know what matters to discover our passion and purpose (self-awareness). We must have the inner strength and resources to face the challenges of life (healthy development of natural traits/EQ). We must continue to follow through on ourselves resolutely and authentically to prevent the agendas of others from throwing us off course and derailing our efforts (personal limits). We must believe that we can achieve the goals we set for ourselves before seriously pursuing them (self-confidence) and we must know that it is worth the effort (self-esteem).
Once these five factors are in place, specific knowledge will provide the additional tools needed to successfully navigate your chosen path: AFTER; not before. If information on HOW to get rich or HOW to stay fit and healthy or HOW to have great relationships were enough, we could all read a few good books and be everything we ever wanted to be. But despite having millions upon thousands of books, tapes, seminars, etc. At our disposal, most people never achieve the success they want. The inner work has to be done first. If not, we are simply spinning our wheels and wasting our time and money.
For most people, the most effective way to overcome old programs and ingrained ways of doing things is to find a good mentor or hire a trained coach. Top athletes, award-winning actors, and other top performers wouldn’t dream of being without a coach, and neither should you if you’re serious about success. Just make sure your coach can help you develop the five essential factors for success. Without them, you may work very hard, but you won’t get very far. With them in place, you will take quantum leaps forward. Any previous work you have done will be available for immediate use and any future training will result in quick and sustainable gains.
Now you have the five essential factors. Take the steps to develop them and success is yours. Find your truth and your passion will become apparent. Find your passion and your motivation to do it, it will lead you towards your goals almost automatically. Start moving towards your goals and your sense of self will grow stronger and healthier because you will begin to experience success. As your sense of self strengthens and your successes multiply, your self-confidence and self-esteem will increase and you will stop allowing the opinions of others to negatively affect you. It is a beautiful circle that begins with you (your true self) and ends in happiness and success.
Enjoy the trip!