If your children are worried, anxious, or fearful, you may hear them say, “I can’t.” This can be hard on you and your child. If you want your child to take reasonable risks and try new things, let Knuckle Power come to the rescue. It’s a great parenting technique that I learned years ago from NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) classes. Knuckle Power (my term) can change “I can’t” into “I can”. Let’s find out how.
I remember a six-year-old girl whom I will call “Sally” (not her real name). Sally’s mother took her to counseling because Sally refused to go into her room. This caused problems at bedtime. Sally was screaming and crying, “I’m scared.”
Sally told me: “Lions and tigers will hurt me.” Sally believed that the lions and tigers from the local zoo were waiting for her in her bedroom. “It’s time for Knuckle Power,” I thought.
In talking to Sally, I found that she needed courage, confidence, and a sense of success to deal with her fear of going to bed. He knew that she could have all three with Knuckle Power.
“Sally,” I instructed, “press the top knuckle of your index finger with the index finger of your other hand.” After practicing a few times, I told her to tell me about a time when she was very brave.
“I felt brave when I raised my hand and answered a question.”
I told Sally, “Describe it in detail, and when you feel brave, crack your knuckles.”
“That was fun!” Sally exclaimed.
I said to Sally, “Tell me 5 brave things you’ve done, and when you get that brave feeling, crack your knuckles.” Next, she told me 5 successful things she had done and then five things she did with confidence. Every time she was to press her knuckle when she felt brave, successful or confident. At the end of the session, Sally had 15 big feelings stacked on her knuckles.
Sally’s task was to press her knuckle and feel all those good feelings as she walked down the hall to her room.
The change
Sally and her mother returned in two weeks. Her mother smiled and said, “Sally slept in her own bed every night with no problem.” Sally smiled and said, “Yeah, I just pushed my ‘button.
In one word
Identify your child’s problem. Ask your child to identify the qualities he needs to deal with fear.
Explain how to use Knuckle Power
Have your child press his index knuckle when he feels the necessary qualities as he tells you about each successful event.
Knuckle Power is great because your child will enjoy sharing all the successes. Don’t forget to tell your child to let you know the results.
Knuckle Power changes “I can’t” to “I can”. Knuckle Power promotes reasonable risk taking, builds self esteem and character too. He taught Knuckle Power today to help his son feel good when he faces fear. You’ll be glad you did.