The constants
In any relationship there is the presence of two constants. The first is the concept of quid pro quo. This is a Latin term that means “something for something. “In a more common understanding, it simply means a barter for an exchange.
Quid pro quo in its simplest form it is nothing more than the common exchange of “good morning.” Party A extends this greeting and the return is Party B saying “yes, good morning.” This is an exchange and it started with what we call a common courtesy. Of course, quid pro quo it can be much more complex than this. My only point is that each relationship has the constant of quid pro quo.
A barter for an exchange
Now some may ask where is the barter in that example? Well, bartering is defined as the action or system of exchanging goods or services without using money. Some definitions use the word commodities instead of services. A commodity is something of great value. Who can argue that common courtesy is not something of great value?
So yes, each relationship has a constant of quid pro quo. Now one can say “I do what I do with no expectation of return“That is not entirely honest. The expectation, in this case, is that your actions will bring a visible and sincere joy to another. There is exchange, your actions bring joy to another. You in return can see the joy of the other. It gets even better when the other shows their appreciation.
The other constant
Which brings us to the other constant. That’s reciprocity. Reciprocity is the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit. In other words, I do it for others with the understanding that later on they will do it for me.
Now don’t get this confused. We do not do it for others always with a hidden or motivated agenda. We often do what we do out of kindness. However, the act of kindness to others often motivates the desire to do for you. This is how we got to the phrase “I owe you one.”
So why currency?
So what does all this have to do with currency? Currency, or money, is simply a symbol for the constants above. However, I would like to introduce the currency is more than a symbol. It is a phenomenon.
We accumulate money so that when we need something we have something to offer for what we need. It’s that easy! It works the same in relationships. We accumulate money by doing works or by giving desirable objects to another. A highly desirable object is appreciation or gratitude. Gratitude expressed through an attitude of gratitude. If we practice this, we are building currency.
With enough currency, we can often get what we need or even want. So the idea is to make frequent deposits so that when we need to make a withdrawal we have money available.
Conflict and currency
I have clients who are in conflict with each other. Conflict places burdens on constants. When you are in conflict, you mitigate the free flow of currency. Replace the constants with a concept called Straight. Entitlement is the feeling or belief that you deserve to receive something (such as special privileges). There is no need to reciprocity or even quid pro quo. This idea of law often exists, whether you deserve it or not. Hence, giving way to the cycle of conflict.
Conclution
My suggestion! Think about your checking account. You deposit currency so that, when necessary, you can make withdrawals. No deposits, no available currency. So just when you want or need it most, you’ll get that dreaded Insufficient Funds Notice.
That is the currency of relationships.