How does your child handle disappointment? What happens if the game, the elections or the friends don’t win? Do you want to leave the team when you have not been chosen to play?
Have a plan bResilience helps people deal with disappointments, setbacks, stress, and even trauma. Resilient people see an obstacle as a learning experience, have a Plan B, and have the confidence to move on.
The road to success has a lot of pebbles and potholes and some unexpected big rocks and scary curves. The ability to bounce back from disappointment or failure requires life skills that can be taught. Having this ability begins with teaching children to take responsibility for their actions and not blame others, or themselves, for circumstances beyond their control.
Self-blame can spiral into low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Explain that sometimes it is simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or that others may have a hidden agenda. It is not even always about them and they cannot control how others think or act.
Help children solve problems
Wise parents, teachers, and caregivers help children solve problems. They help children prepare with coping skills for the next time a similar situation arises. Be a good listener. Disappointed children often need to talk; don’t interrupt or put words in your mouth. It’s your problem; They show confidence in their ability to solve it.
At the right time, tell them: “I have confidence in you. You have a good mind and soul. You will find a solution. If you need help, I am here. Perhaps you would like to share some ideas with me.
Allow them time to reflect and look at a problem realistically. Ask if they need time alone to think about what happened and how to handle a similar situation. Their role is to offer support and guidance, not to lead them to a solution.
Help children be optimistic about the future
A resilient child bounces off strong self-esteem to come up with a Plan B. Teaching self-esteem skills: having the honesty to apologize when they make mistakes, courtesy when asking for what they want, setting limits on how they are treated – helps a child cope with the situation. Resilient children know that disappointments and setbacks are temporary. Adults who model resilient skills and strategies are a child’s best teacher.