Did you know that some horses will follow you for a carrot, while other horses won’t move unless you hit them with a stick? Well, people are also motivated by carrots or sticks. Some people move towards goals. Other people walk away from the consequences.
Psychologists have identified four distinct personality types: sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic, and choleric. Everyone leans towards one of these guys. If you learn to understand what excites, motivates, irritates, and frustrates these different personality types, you’ll be well on your way to understanding why certain people frustrate you more than others.
Sanguine and choleric personalities tend to be fast-paced and impulsive. If you hang a carrot in front of them, they will probably jump on the carrot. On the other hand, phlegmatic and melancholic personalities tend to be slower and more indecisive. To get them started, sometimes you have to show them the difficult consequences of not taking risks.
Carrot people go to the dentist because they want white teeth. “Sticker” people go to the dentist because he doesn’t want cavities. Carrot people try new things because they want to get ahead and stay current. Stuck people try new things because they don’t want to fall behind or mess things up.
Can you see the difference?
Here’s another personality trait to consider. Melancholic and angry personalities tend to validate themselves internally. In other words, they carry within themselves a strong sense of their own opinions and their own sense of right. If you give Cholerics too much feedback, they will ask you to mind your own business. If you give illogical comments to the brooders, they will throw up their hands in frustration.
In contrast, Sanguine and Phlegmatic personalities tend to be externally validated. That is, they need people to validate them, and they only thrive when others support them. In fact, they often value their opinion more than they value their own. If you don’t give a Sanguine enough feedback, they’ll likely track you down and ask what you think; while Phlegmatics cannot make a decision without considering how everyone around them is affected by the decision.
Basically, melancholic and angry personalities tend to make decisions based on what they think, want or need; while phlegmatic and sanguine personalities tend to make decisions based on what others think, want or need. That being the case, any time you want to present a solution, opinion, or idea to someone, you should probably consider that person’s personality type because unless your solution motivates their type, you’re wasting your time and confusing the problem.
Whatever personality type you’re dealing with, your presentations will be more effective and persuasive when you show each type how they can get what they want by agreeing to work with you…