Holidays can be a stressful time for everyone. When you have lost a loved one, the holidays can be filled with mixed emotions of joy and sadness. After the loss of my mother, the first Thanksgiving and Christmas were filled with a sense of displacement. My mother always hosted the holidays at her house. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and birthdays were always a celebration with many family and friends.
After my mom passed away, everything changed. The first years were an adjustment. I was lucky enough to be included in my sister’s family holidays and when my father moved back to California we were able to start new family traditions.
During the holidays, my house is still filled with memories of my mother’s love for the holidays. I have combined my new Christmas decorations and traditions with some of my mother’s favorites. Making my mom’s favorite Christmas recipes each year helps me connect with her spirit and makes me feel like she’s there with me.
As we approach the holiday season, remember that your friends and family who have lost a loved one may be experiencing deep feelings of loss. Make sure you take the time to connect with them and let them know that you love them.
Here are some ways to be the gift you’ve been waiting for this holiday season:
- Invite your loved one to join you at your Christmas gathering. As family members pass away, traditions change and a loved one may not be able to spend the holidays with their family. Including them in family holidays will help ease the loneliness they may be feeling at this time of year.
- Make a special appointment to go to dinner, have a coffee or go shopping to spend some time in private. This special time will give you a chance to talk about your feelings.
- Help them with vacation arrangements. If they are hosting a Christmas gathering, offer to help them prepare the meal or offer to go shopping to take some of the stress out of it. Ask them if they would like you to prepare a favorite meal that may have been a family tradition.
- Take them out for a special pampering day to a spa or a massage. Relaxation and pampering will help you both with the stress of the holidays.
- Celebrate the memories of your loved one by sharing stories and reviewing photo albums together. This activity will give your friend or family member a chance to celebrate their happy memories.
Having the support of friends and family during the holidays can make a difference. So while you do To do list For the holidays, be sure to include friends and family who may need a little more love and care this time of year.